Wednesday, August 22, 2007

White House Manual Details How to Squelch Anti-Bush Protestors

Here are some tips (from the previously-secret "Presidential Advance Manual") on how to keep the President (or the news media) from seeing or hearing protestors at presidential events:

  • Require tickets
  • Place protestors in "free speech zones" that are out of site of the President and the media
  • Search/screen ticketholders for secret signs
  • Make sure people in VIP sections or near the stage are "extremely supportive of the Administration"
  • Form strategically-placed "rally squads" (no, really) to shout down any anti-Bush demonstrators who infiltrate an event (for example, shout "USA! USA! USA!")
  • If the above does not work, throw them out. (Typically, this has involved arresting the protestor on bogus charges, followed by a quick release after the event ends)

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